2nd entry for today.....mood: frustrated!!!

sometimes i think guys just don't understand. OK i know that my hubby has it very stressful and that he is wanting to do a few things, but its very hard to be preggo and work and seem like he is never around. its so hard to get him to look at stuff online because he is too busy looking at other stupid stuff. all i want is for him to be around or to be more involved with HIS baby and he isn't....even when he can be. his friend is my partner in Lamaze and my sister and my best friend come with me to appointments. when he was around, he broke every promise to me that he made about going baby shopping or looking or just anything dealing with us as a family. i am so tired of our family being second to everything and everyone else....we fight constantly...we don't have that lovey dovey relationship anymore BC the military is killing it. it even came to a point where he said something about how he doesn't want to be married to me anymore so i took the rings off. later he begged for me to put them back on, but now i think it was a mistake....i don't think i can handle this lifestyle like i thought i could. i don't think i am strong enough to take my child away from family and move her to Alaska....this is the first time ever leaving home and to do that....i don't even know anymore. i cant stand how one min we can be the perfect couple then the next he turns into some military air force asshole and i just want to scream! All i wanted to do today was just talk for an hour and just show off some baby gear that his mother bought today....then go to bed...I GOT 2 HRS OF SLEEP! but no...he wanted to be a JERK! Wanted me to wait up for him....well no...i am not waiting up for him if he gets done doing his thing at 930pm his time....1230 my time....ugh not when i have to wake up a7 730 in the am to babysit! yeah i'm so frustrated about him today! ooh it feels so good to vent and yet i still fill so crappy. oh well.... he will realize it soon enough.